Ever Best High Teens – Episode 1
(c) Bunmi B Gabriel
#Theme: She’s a little bit whacky.
I was walking down a dark and lonely road when all of a sudden I was held down by five guys. The leader ripped my top open and was about removing my bra when someone dragged him up and punched him. The guy fought them off effortlessly, my ninja prince. The gangster ran off in fear. He walked and stretched his hand to me, I was about taking it when I saw his face.
I screamed out in fright.
‘Kieran! What are you doing here? How dare you save me!!!’ I yelled at the top of my voice. ‘You should have let them rape me instead of saving me. I thought you were my prince….blech! I ought to be in my room.’ I blabbed. ‘Is this a dream?’ I stood up and looked around.
Definitely a dream.
‘Kara please let me help you.’ He said charmingly.
‘Over my dead body! What are you even doing in my dream? Get out!’
‘I have to wake up from this nightmare.’ I mused. I kneed him angrily. ‘That’s for penetrating my dream. The next time I see you here, I’ll murder you.’ I threatened. I started screaming until I woke up still screaming, I went on my knees sharply and started praying. ‘Heavenly father, I’m grateful for the fact that you woke me up from that nightmare. Any spirit of Kieran in my life, I band and destroy it by the name of Jesus. I forbid any image of Kieran in my dreams ever again. Dear Lord, If he dare to enter again, burn him with your mercilessly fire and fry his brain with lightning. May you punish all my enemies Kieran, Shade, that ugly bearded guy that loves wearing one shirt, I don’t know his name and the rest of Kieran’s friends. And may thee protect my family and shower us with more love. Amen.’ I stood up and saw my little sister standing there with a frown.
‘Kerah what are you doing in my room?’ I asked frowning too.
‘I don’t know. My marvelous big sister screamed so I ran here to check on her only to find her praying bullsh*t.’
‘You’re bullsh*t.’ I fired back
‘May God punish you for uttering such bullsh*t.’
‘And may lightning slap your immature p***y. Now get out of my room.’ I spat. She snorted.
‘Ugly loser.’ She hissed and left.
‘Unfortunate b***h!!!’ I shouted after her
‘Kara!!!!!!’ Mom yelled warningly.
Kerah is thirteen. We don’t get along because she’s almost the opposite of me. We love each other like crazy but we can’t stay a day without arguing. I hate my birthdays, Why? Because I have to celebrate it every year with Kieran. We were born on the same date but different year
He’s an intruder!
I turned on my MP3 player and it boomed with Chris Brown’s freaking Friday. Time for my morning routine.
I skipped downstairs for breakfast, I wore a red palazzo and black turtle neck top with I black sneakers and carried a red handbag. Who needs books.
‘Morning family!’ I squealed
‘Morning love.’ Mom smiled.
‘Daughter darling. Give me a five.’ Dad said screamingly. We did our secret handshake and laughed.
‘Crazy people.’ Kerah muttered.
‘Jealous person.’ Dad and I said simultaneously. I sat down at dad’s left and winked at plain face Kerah. She rolled her eyes with disgust.
‘Mom, can I please get a puppy now?’ She asked cutely.
‘No.’ Mom said coldly.
‘Simple, the number of pets you have murdered all your lives is enough to open up a pet shop.’ I answered smilingly picking up the jar of cream.
‘Nobody asked you gingerbread.’ She hissed.
‘Didn’t need to be asked Strawberry junk’ I said winkingly. She rolled her eyes and huffed. I have dad’s ginger and red hair and apple green eyes while I look like mom but she’s strawberry blonde and blue eyes like my mom but looks like dad. Beautiful exchange.
‘Dad please help me.’
‘Don’t look at me, dear. Your mom’s the boss here. I even wanted to buy a new car but nooooo, she said I’m wasting money. Can you believe that?’ He said naggingly.
‘You are wasting money.’ Kerah and I said plainly.
‘Traitors.’ He said complainingly. We giggled.
‘So mom about the dog?’
‘Read my lips, N-O noooooooo.’ She pronounced slowly.
‘Ha!’ I laughed jestingly. She eyed me and faced her food sadly. Poor baby. She suddenly smirked evilly.
‘Haven’t it been a while since you saw your friends?’ She asked innocently. I gulped.
‘That’s true dear, I miss my dear friends.’ dad said thoughtfully. ‘That’s it! We’ll have a family golfing on Saturday.’ he announced
‘No!’ I exclaimed. Family golfing meant spending time with Kieran and his brainless bunch of idiotic wannabes.
‘Shut up Kara.’ Mom said sternly. I glared at Kerah who winked at me.
‘Serves you right b***h.’ She mouthed.
‘f**k you.’ I mouthed back.
The beautiful week was ruined for me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I drove into the school’s parking lot playing really loud music. It was the first day of school for the final semester and bang! High school life would be over. Lydia and Robin were outside waiting for me as usual; I walked to them smiling.
‘When giving a blow job, it’s not compulsory that the girl must swallow the sperm, it’s disgusting.’ Lydia said disgustedly.
‘Oh come on! What fun will that be.’ Robin argued.
‘How would you know, you’re not the blower.’ She said scornfully.
‘So don’t the boy drink her juice too?’
‘That is a whole different thing. It’s erm….it’s…. Kara back me up here.’
‘Hey!’ I exclaimed raising my hands up. She growled warningly. ‘How would I know? I’m a virgin.’ I said innocently She hissed and smacked Robin.
‘The two of you suck.’ She said irritably and walked away.
‘What was that all about?’ I asked chucklingly.
‘Robiiiiiiiin…’ I drawled.
‘Okay okay fine, geez! I just told her that the whore I screwed last night refused to do everything I say and she flared up. So annoying.’ He said in surrender. I clicked my tongue, Lydia must be hurt. She was in love with him just the way he was in love with her but both of them won’t admit it and they end up hurting each other more every single day.
‘So how was your holiday with Kieran?’ He asked teasingly wiggling his eyebrows. I felt like ripping it off.
‘Talk about that again and I’ll show you how punching bag feels when being punched.’ I snarled warningly, I will so do it. I spent the holiday at Kieran’s stupidly beautiful beach house because of our parents, I hate them. Robin laughed. ‘How was yours?’
‘Great! There were a lot of girls there and I got a taste of all the hot ones.’
‘Dog of the century.’
‘b***h of the earth.’
‘Tell that to your future generation D*** head.’
‘You win!’ He exclaimed. Robin hates arguing for long unlike Rihanna and Charlotte (one of my cheer girls.) He followed me to my locker and stood far away. I opened it without thinking and goo spluttered out, bathing me before glitters did the finishing touch. Everyone in the hallway laughed and a camera flashed. I turned to yell at Robin who was laughing but was greeted with another flash.
‘Welcome back to school b***h.’ Kieran said jestingly and walked away with his laughing friends. I wiped the goo off my face with my hands so Robin would see my glare.
‘What? It was funny.’ He said laughingly. Lydia ran in.
‘You couldn’t even warn her!’ She exclaimed. Robin shrugged. Everyone knew he didn’t involve himself in our little war, says it’s childish. I sprinted to him fast and gave him a big hug.
‘Ew! Kara!’ He shouted but he couldn’t push me off. I have a really strong grip.
‘Taste Kara.’ Lydia said laughingly. I kissed him before he could close his mouth. I unlocked and watched him gagged. ‘High five!’ Lydia exclaimed. I high five her and laughed as he ran off to throw up. ‘Well, it’s a good thing I’m always prepared…’ She kicked her locker and it opened. Her locker wardrobe rolled out. ‘Pick a cloth, any cloth!’ She announced like a market seller.
Be ready for payback Kieran.
I sat in class impatiently waiting for Kieran. He walked in with his banana brain friends chattering about some useless things, not that I would know but everything about them was useless. I walked to them with a sweet smile.
‘At the sight of Kara, every boy must stand and bow.’ I said authoritatively. They sat down and crossed their arms. Perfect! I sat on the desk and ticked his head. ‘You know I’ll get you back for this morning right?’
‘I’ll be waiting,’ he said confidently. I smiled and leaned closer to his face, he moved back, confusion clearly written all over his it. ‘What is your problem?’
‘You’re cute when confuse.’ I blurted out. I mentally slapped myself.
‘Kara did you get high yesterday?’ Shade asked quizzically. I shrugged and pecked Kieran’s lips. His eyes widened and everyone gasped. The teacher chose that as the perfect time to walk in. I stood up and sent him a sexy wink then cat walked to my seat.
‘This is going to be fun.’ Rihanna whispered. Lydia chuckled.
‘Good morning Mr Donald.’ The class greeted.
‘Uhm. Do you remember the last thing I assigned to all of you before the end of last semester?’ He asked briskly.
‘Yes.’ Some said it unenthusiastically while some the opposite. I was part of the opposite.
‘Robert come show everyone what you worked on during the holiday.’ Robin stood up and walked to him.
‘I worked on this,’ he said smugly showing off his stupid pen. ‘A flash camera pen. If I press this button, a bright light will flash and temporary blind everyone. Should I?’
‘No!!!!!’ They shouted. Mr Donald nodded satisfyingly.
‘Always prepared Robert and that’s why you’re our president.’ He acknowledged. I so wanted to burst his bubble and tell everyone that the pen was an ordinary one but he’s my bestie.
‘Clever D***.’ Lydia said lowly clearly admiring him again. A brief description of the class. The walls were white with different painting on it, the tiled floor was blue and pink and the ceiling yellow. The two sitter chairs were white and yellow just like the teacher’s. Three ACs were in the room which wasn’t so big because we weren’t much in number. (Rihanna brought the idea for the school’s painting, her dad owns it remember.)
I sat with Robin while Lydia and Rihanna shared the seat right behind our’s. Nina and Bianca were at the desk beside mine. I’m gonna tell you about my cheer girls. They were nine including me, Bianca and Nina were much closer to us, they were our best friends but not best best friends. The rest were: Shannon, Charlotte, Edeline and Sheila. Just note that.
‘Kieran, what did you work on during the holiday?’ Mr Donald asked scornfully, already detesting his answer.
‘I worked on how to screw five girls at the same time.’ He answered nonchalantly with his legs on the desk and hands behind his head. This isn’t his father’s parlor. Mr Donald sighed.
‘That’s an F, no extra mark for you.’
‘I don’t need it, love.’ He said winkingly. He was pulling his Mr Cool charms on him and it was working like always.
‘Yeah, you don’t.’ Mr. Donald winked back.
‘Tsk tsk.’ He clicked his tongue charmingly. Mr Donald laughed and faced Lydia. She walked out sassily.
‘I worked on this,’ she stood straight.
‘EBH is the best
the perfect place to take a test
EBH is a perfect ten
Not a bully’s f****ng den
Filled with stupid, idiotically fools
Like Kieran, Kong, Oscar, and Shade
Goooo, EBH morons!’ She sang and did a split. Everyone laughed.
‘Lydia is that what you learned?’ Mr. Donald asked huffily.
‘Yup!’ She popped.
‘Eh! Not my first.’ She skipped back to her seat. Robin laughed harder than everyone else.
‘Nina?’ She stood up and walked out.
‘I worked on how to charge my phone using the natural acid in lime and turning it to energy, observe.’ She brought out a lime connected to some wires and plugged it to her phone. She showed us, It was charging. Everyone clapped.
Nina is a beautiful nerd.
‘Very good Nina, you will get an extra mark for sure.’
‘Thank you.’ She said shyly and walked back to her seat.
‘Miss Queen,’ he called me out. I grinned and walked out with a can. ‘Let me guess, a new hair dye.’ He said scoffingly irritably. I smiled and sent Kieran a wink.